jillypoet: mom trying to write

Each day I wish I had invented waterproof sticky notes (for shower inspiration) or pen-friendly diapers to get down all my quirky thoughts that I am sure are relevant and publishable. And so God (actually another writer-mommy) sent me The Blog.

Monday, January 08, 2007

While I was sleeping


This week's prompt at One Deep Breath is subtle changes. Not the obvious things you declare and sally forth to change like your weight, your work habits, your hair color (although, that, too, can change oh so subtly and fast!), but the things that shift and morph while we aren't looking, while we are sleeping through life. I suppose there is a way of looking at this in a glass half-full way, like...

Irises peek out
three-prong heads hold fast in rain
beware flakes, flowers!

Oh wait. That's not half-full. That is definitely my muse drinking the glass half down. Poor, poor irises, coming up too soon. I was happy to see them...

Hello, old blue friends
spring flowers awake too soon.
It's good to see you!

But we all know what will happen to their short, green, triangular heads when the snow finally flies. OK. So my muse is speaking in empty milk bottle metaphors. She is allowed. Here are my, uh, excuse me, HER views on those subtle changes. Maybe I wouldn't be quite so grouchy if only the sun would shine! And with it, a sunny snow shower!

Clementines grow soft
left in wooden box on floor.
Best intentions rot.

Finger through old fruit,
bread stored in fridge cold and hard.
Rations for winter.

Overalls stop short
five-year-old ankles shiver
When did you grow, boy?

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your muse is full of subtle changes to share. I hope your irises are not frozen back for their precocious efforts.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are all wonderful. I especially like the one about clementines and overalls. My clementines are always neglected in favor of leftover Christmas chocolate.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorites are the clementines and the overalls, too!

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, bandwagon: wait! I like the clementines and the overalls, too!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Crafty Green Poet said...

Nice post, thanks for sharing all these subtle changes

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are just fabulous - all! I especially like the last three. Well done, you!

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

I like all your haiku, but really laughed over Overalls!

5:23 PM  
Anonymous n.b. said...

All are good,
but the last three
are sublime.

(Especially the bare ankles one...genius!)

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They were all really wonderful!

9:05 PM  
Blogger Roswila said...

Hello, old blue friends
spring flowers awake too soon.
It's good to see you!

I've been reading a lot of Issa's kus recently. And especially in the one above there's an echo of his sensibility.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

These were wonderful and I so related to the fruit haiku ;)

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a good writer. I have stopped by several times and not been disappointed.

10:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a wonderful read. I llove the overalls and the iris photo is fabluous.

11:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that image of bare ankles.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Pearl said...

Clementines rot have that element of surprise and slow unseen change.

3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can totally relate, and loved the FEEL of these... very tactile and tangible.

12:24 AM  

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