jillypoet: mom trying to write

Each day I wish I had invented waterproof sticky notes (for shower inspiration) or pen-friendly diapers to get down all my quirky thoughts that I am sure are relevant and publishable. And so God (actually another writer-mommy) sent me The Blog.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Over the horizon

This is the second draft of a freewrite I did using five words as a prompt. Rather than tell you the words, I'll see if any of the words stick out too much. It needs something, I'm not sure what, so I'm hoping some reader, somewhere out there (over the horizon...) can help me figure it out!

Over the Horizon, a Lone Figure, or: I Need New Glasses

It is a slippery fantasy
the old boyfriend,
the chance meeting.
So slippery that it keeps coming
back and back
sliding into your daily life,
like a sliver of soap
or a lathered wedding band
is drawn to the drain.

Slicing the melon
you lose yourself
lose the tip of your ring finger,
imagining your lives together,
your hand resting beneath his
as you stand hip to hip
in the grocery store,
feeling the firm round prospect
of a cantelope.

Sailing the snowman lined streets of suburbia
after dropping your youngest at preschool
you are the back-up singer
in his band. Hair swinging
fingers tapping
you lean your head on the passenger headrest
rub the velvet nubs of the empty seat
whisper, Take your hand off my thigh,
the neighors will talk.

Late at night, the old boyfriend morphs
into a chameleon,
casting stiff, slim shadows
on your bed.
He is red wool, sliding between the sheets
pulling himself up under your chin.

Back in the kitchen,
love wears an apron the color of his eyes.
He drapes himself around your cooking body,
ties himself around your waist,
hangs just below your belly, between your legs.

To leave him you must become a witch,
once again. Cast a spell,
sprinkle salt on the slippery devil,
render him invisible.


Blogger paris parfait said...

What an amazing poem! So rich with imagery of longing and roads not taken. I think most of us have a similar story, alternating with the wonder of possibility and of regret.

3:02 PM  
Blogger keith hillman said...

My goodness! I feel quite warm after reading that! A truly evocative poem. Great.

4:49 PM  
Blogger UL said...

invisible physically but from the heart, never ever - as is clearly stated here..beautiful. Wow! Thank you for sharing.

10:26 PM  
Blogger Rambler said...

I really like the little dash of humor, but still a strong subject in the poem

1:32 AM  
Blogger gautami tripathy said...

I say wonderful..

11:53 AM  
Blogger LittleWing said...

i'd say it's perfect as is...what a storyteller!!!....the next time i'm cooking in a kitchen i want that dream apron...

3:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home