jillypoet: mom trying to write

Each day I wish I had invented waterproof sticky notes (for shower inspiration) or pen-friendly diapers to get down all my quirky thoughts that I am sure are relevant and publishable. And so God (actually another writer-mommy) sent me The Blog.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

My 100th Post! And an IMPORTANT poetry note!

My 100th post! My 100th post! Hooray! Hooray!

First, before my poem, some "housekeeping." Polka Dot Witch and I will be launching our new poetry writing & critiquing blog soon. Please visit Fertile Ground for more information. Get your hands in the dirt!

Next, please visit my previous post http://jillypoet.blogspot.com/2007/09/october-is-scare-up-poem-send-it-month.html Anyway we can get poetry out there in the world, is how I look at it! Dana, formerly of PoeTry ThursDay and Sublimation mentioned that October is random acts of poetry month in Canada. More on that later, when I can investigate and provide you, faithful readers, with accurate information.

NOW...on to my poem. I wrote this one in a completely different manner than I usually write. I don't know if it's the weather (way too warm for fall in the northeast) or starting school, or what. This poem started out with a "key." But, it soon evolved. The "juicy" prompt at One Deep Breath helped. And here it is. Comments and critique welcome, encouraged, even. I kind of like this one and want to make it better. Thanks!

Juicy

Sandwiched between loaves
of meat, buffetted by copper pans
of bundt cake and oozing sweet preserves,
Betty Crocker never told.
June Cleaver rarely held a knife
in her hand. Carol Brady ate poy
with her fingers on the island.
And yet. And yet. Women need to know.
Can you really ever unlock
the secret to a pineapple?
Open the door to slip of sharpened knife
through rough-hewn bark,
skin unwilling to yield.
The perfect cut is a myth.
Melons garner the same reaction,
offer up the same silent curse
while clamping curved legs
of hard tan rind
closer together
holding tight to cresecents of precious flesh.

Cradled between soft slick seeds
cantelope juice runs free,
shimmering fruit refuses to be balled and left
to bleed pale clear sweetness
across anyone’s hands.

Slicing the bounty,
who’s to say what is sharper
the blade, the juice, the fist that holds it.

10 Comments:

Blogger pepektheassassin said...

Oh, my, jilly, and I am on a diet....this is juicy, indeed!

4:41 PM  
Blogger Becca said...

What great imagery here, very strong. And I especially love the "haiku" verse at the end.

Well done - I enjoyed reading this!

4:56 PM  
Blogger paris parfait said...

Very interesting perspective.

5:01 PM  
Blogger tumblewords said...

This is a good one - lots of meat, conundrums and rhythm. AND congratulations on your 100th post! That's a milepost!

7:29 PM  
Blogger Ashley Lyn said...

Oooh, there's something sensual yet brutal in this. The last line stopped me in my tracks, and made me question. Wonderfully thought provoking! Thank you for taking me to a new mental place.

7:44 PM  
Blogger polka dot witch said...

how very dangerous! subject and tone. and you're right, different than what you have come to know as your voice. i like the dangerous you. i know you've been wishing to hear from her for a while.

might i ask her for something more? an "I" statement in here? make this personal for the narrator ... what is it about these images that appear in her story? ... i know it's a lot all at once. :)

and i know--i always want there to be an "I" in a poem. it's my own selfish need ...

11:05 PM  
Blogger Kimberley McGill said...

Congratulations our post # 100!

I also like the dangerous feel of the poem, murderously dangerous. I think I will buy my melons and pineapples precut from now on!

I think the kind of cool detachment of the poem adds to the effect.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Kimberley McGill said...

Forgot to add that I am very interested in the poetry writing and critiquing blog. It would be great to be part of a community that can critique as well as encourage. When I click the link for more info it just takes me to the wordpress page - :(

11:42 PM  
Blogger gautami tripathy said...

Congrats for the 100th post!

Great going with the JUICY poem.

3:56 AM  
Blogger polka dot witch said...

i forgot to properly jump up and down about the 100th post thing ...

^ _ ^ _ ^ _ ^ _ (that's me jumping up and down)

congrats!

7:54 AM  

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