jillypoet: mom trying to write

Each day I wish I had invented waterproof sticky notes (for shower inspiration) or pen-friendly diapers to get down all my quirky thoughts that I am sure are relevant and publishable. And so God (actually another writer-mommy) sent me The Blog.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

NaPoWriMo #5: A Terzanelle, of Sorts

Skeptics Say Mother Bird Who Gave Her Life For Chicks Is Nothing But Urban Legend

When he struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother’s wings.
- from widely circulated inspirational e-mail

There are things a woman can not do.
Walk naked from house to house
asking for a cup of flour, a teaspoon


Another positive day for poetry. I hope my muse stays in good form for the next three weeks (plus)! I did not stay completely true to the terzanelle form, as my end words do not all rhyme. I could change a few words to establish the rhyme, but it loses something, in my opinion. That is how I feel about revision...I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it. But I know I need to do it. I am so attached to my first words.

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Blogger paisley said...

i really enjoyed your use of this form.. it took what could have been made to feel somewhat nonsensical and made it very meaningful when it wound into that last stanza....

9:07 PM  
Blogger Talia said...

I love the title, and "these are the bare days, empty as blown eggs"
and "vintage honey-baked homespun, torn at the edges..." Good stuff.

When it comes to revision, I have to put it aside. Every time I write something I think it is the best thing ever written...it takes awhile for that to wear off, then I can realistically look at stuff.

10:10 PM  
Blogger PDW said...

you do have a way with titles. always.

i like " a woman should not feed worms to her children"

glad you had a productive day #5. i lost my focus.




back. ...

8:37 AM  

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